December 2010
59 posts
“Pre-trib AND OBAMA!? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT!?”
– Ariela.
With A Smile.
And as the glitter falls all around, falls on our freckles, on our shoulders, on our lips, and we’ll say our goodbyes to 2010 and every loss we’ve encountered. With smiles, we’ll make a toast to the memories we’ve yet to make, and the roads we’ve yet to travel, And your mouth will press against mine, and with a smile, you’ll...
In and Out.
Dear 2010, You were seriously the worst year of my life. So here’s a big “F-U”, as you die your slow, painful, much-anticipated death. Sincerely, Katee. Dear 2011, You will be the best year of my life. Michael and I will make this statement true, together. I’m excited for what you’ll bring to us. Don’t Let Me Down, Katee.
I'm getting surgery on Monday...
Goodbye, Gall Bladder.
Let's go back to the snows of 2006.
It was ice, we were barefoot. The snow got stuck between our toes like it was sand, the mountains were shorelines. Hot chocolate and marshmallows and breast milk, the color purple and the colors pink and blue. We rode down hills on pizza boxes covered in grease and sausage, rode down hills and fell in love with our own laughter. I remember that blue coat that I wore, three sizes too big,...
Decision To Forget.
And tonight, I’m downing ginger ale, wishing it were wine, wishing that the carbonation would act like alcohol, make me forget, make me remember, make me feel less. I’m okay, I am, please believe me when I say it, but tonight, I’m sick of remembering, I’m sick of forgetting. Are you okay? You don’t seem okay. You haven’t seemed okay for months. The last time I...
“Sometimes I feel like you only love me for my beard.”
– Michael
I'm opening a vintage shop on Etsy.
“I’m pretty sure God gave us each other.”
– My Michael.
“My favorite sound is your voice; My favorite smell is your skin. And you are my...”
– My Michael.
— And he proposed while Babys was playing on...
One, Two, Three.
Pages turn, one, two, three, all the music sounds the same. Diamond-boarded quilt is crumbled beside the book that will teach us to make shoes. Three roses rest, two almost black, one, crimson red, one, two, three. Orange Sapphires smell like sunshine as the snow falls from the roof onto my window pane. The snowman is sitting in the paper bag beside me, and the police cars are chasing down heroine...
Last night, my fiancé gave me a bottle of my favorite perfume, and recited Sylvia Plath’s Song for a Summer’s Day to me. “Took my heart as if it were a green-tipped leaf, kindled by my love’s pleasing into an ardent blazing.” Wow, I have no idea how I managed to acquire him. My favorite smell, and my favorite sound, brought forth by my favorite person.
“Crying is not a sign that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign...”
Something That's Holy.
Okay. Let’s talk this out. I’m struggling with the depth of my hurt and the strength of your love. I’m fighting the urge to dismiss you, to dismiss faith, to dismiss church and Christians. I’m arguing with myself constantly because I feel so far from you, yet my soul desires your presence. Why aren’t you close anymore? Why can’t I feel you anymore? Have I finally slipped too far into the darkness...
I Can Explode.
Everything is in separate compartments right now. If everything would blend together, what would be the majority? Which would be dominant? Would the smile of attachment fade into the tears of loss? Perhaps I’d drown in sorrows, perhaps not. My Love, would he grasp onto me? He could pull me from the rushing waves. I don’t want to be spaghetti anymore, I take it back. Forever and always,...
thesmokegirl asked: Are you going to get married under the stars?
thesmokegirl asked: To whom are you getting married?
An Exact Replica.
And the worst part is that this is all just dejavu. Losing a best friend due to their choices, then losing a good friend due to God’s choices. Round two of a mourning process, an exact replica of this summer. I swear one day I’m just going to run away, explode, disappear. It’s none of their business. None of this is any of their business. I need everyone to realize that...
A Happier Place.
I’m reaching, stretching, growing, branching out, naked, strong. My skin is burning and my pupils are dilated. The doors are blocked, the sun is shut out. I’m better off without you. Anywhere you aren’t is a happier place.
Hello, new followers.
Write to me. Tell me about yourself. :)
Why is it that Christians always seem to be the...
I never regret anything. But sometimes I wish I...
We're all dust.
Baby, I can't be alone right now.
Is Killing Me.
Let’s fight this out. I’ve never been this shaken in my entire life. These battles are always one sided. Yell back, scream, do something. This silence is killing me. I’ll bury my face in the earth, smother myself in dirt, leaves, snow. I’ve never been this shaken in my entire life. Yell back, scream, do something. Your silence is killing me.
Things are never okay.
Rest in Peace.
Tonight I’m remembering you, your words, your face, your dreams. Tonight I’m wishing that Heaven and Hell didn’t exist. I can’t sleep, he can’t help me. I’m listening to Airplanes and I’m wishing that I hadn’t just talked to you, I’m wishing that everything was fair, and that people didn’t die so young. Tonight I’m remembering you,...
“Things are never completely okay. You just have to take all your troubles and...”
– My Michael.
And To Scream.
Sleeping sounds good to me, but my pink shoes and christmas presents are keeping me awake. She got me a vanilla candle, my bridesmaid, my Liz, it’s melting, I’m melting away. Matthew and Sarah. Michael and Katee. “You’re my sister now.” There’s a can of pineapple juice beside me, unopened and warm. The metallic bowl is full of baby bows, and the glass on the...
Anonymous asked: Hey there beautiful. Wanna run off somewhere and make ginger babies? I do.
We All Know.
Strum, Strum, go back to your house, pack up a guitar, a pick, and a brown hat. We’ll make enough money to skip town, we’ll make enough money to disappear. Grab the cooler, Baby. Fill it with imported beer and pickles, put it in the backseat, out of our way. We all know how cozy I get when you’re driving. I’ll make 8,000 cookies and we’ll fill the trunk, give a...
2 tags
Psh, Whatever.
I’m prettier than you anyway.
Name Her Lucy.
We make mud pies with our words, sculpt, decorate, taste, spit out. The candle is flickering vanilla sprinkles, and the strawberry bubble gum tastes like paint and rust and memories. The panda bear sits on my dresser, frowning, so sad, underneath a rose canopy, a roof made of commitments and baby’s breath. I want to live on a lake, holding hands with him forever. I want to...
“What do you do when you exhaust all your secrets?”
– My Michael.
I Understand That.
She called, asked if I was alright, this is not the first time. Her voice was worried, her eyes cried tears, I laughed it off. “Of course I’m alright.” Two best friends in one year, two vitally important people, gone. She called, asked if I was alright, this is not the first time. It’s not that I don’t understand that all of this needed to happen. It’s not...
I Can Forget.
He remembers everything.
Words, smiles, looks.
I wish I could remember everything.
But sometimes I’m glad that I can forget.